To know myself means to know all of my flaws, strengths, and my purpose in life. Understanding why I am on this Earth is a huge step in knowing who I am. Of course I know little reasons why I am here, such as to make people laugh and to support my friends, but until I understand what my overall goal is and how it will affect the people around me, I will not know myself. Having this knowledge would benefit me mainly because it would provide a reason to wake up in the morning and drive me to succeed at everything I do. Knowing every aspect of myself, the way I think, and the way I can improve myself would enable me to become a better person and better the world.
One way I could improve myself is by strengthening my ability to compartmentalize. I believe that my greatest weakness is that I allow my emotions to consume me and hinder my progress. I have been really upset this past week, which is the main reason I am writing this blog Sunday night an hour and a half before it is due. I am not able to tell myself that I can be sad later, but now is the time to work. To develop this skill, I have worked very hard to stop thinking about my problems. I have been faking how I feel and putting a smile on for the rest of the world, which surprisingly helps me think about the task at hand rather than the problems that are present.
This contrasts interestingly with my greatest strength, my ability to make people happy. In all honesty, I am very good at cheering people up and using my humor to pull people out of the gutter. I work very hard to make people laugh, mainly because I enjoy the satisfaction of seeing other people happy, and I often raise the spirits of my friends when they need it most. The irony is that my greatest weakness prevents me from helping myself when I am upset.
It is very difficult for me to admit this information because I have been trained by my peers to despise myself. Although this is largely do to myself, my classmates have made me feel bad whenever I do well, causing a self-deprecating attitude. I am very self-conscious that people will think I am conceited when I say the slightest compliment towards myself. Therefore my automatic response to the question, “What is your greatest flaw?” is “everything.” On the other hand, it is very difficult to pinpoint my strengths when I do not view myself to have strengths. This introspection is very difficult do to my societal pressures and fear of rejection by my peers. It makes me uncomfortable to write about why I am so great because this involves a level of self-confidence which I am yet to reach. This could in fact rival my inability to compartmentalize as my greatest weakness. The only reason it is not, in my eyes, my greatest flaw is because so many other people are unable to muster the confidence to speak honestly about themselves. It is such a common flaw that I think it is almost guaranteed that the majority of teenagers feel this way.
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